Marketing Weiss
by Lady Mari-chan
Summary: What if the Weiss boys made a live action movie? Read the story that sparked an online mailing list debate. Who would you cast?


Marketing Weiss.  
  
By Mari-Chan  
  
July 2003  
  
Warnings: AU. Set out of Japan, using American Holiday's Pairings: None  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz. Blah, Blah, Blah...Enjoy.  
  
Glancing around the room, the receptionist stopped to allow her gaze to linger on the four young men on the oversized sofa. Although the sofa could comfortably seat 8 people, the four had spaced themselves out over the whole area, and she did not think that anyone would have asked them to move.  
  
They were all dressed in suits. The one with the red hair had a small flat folder lying casually across his crossed legs. Her eyes continued over the four and stopped at the tall blond. She blushed as his eyes met hers and quickly glanced down at the bank of phones in front of her, wishing one would ring. No such luck. She glanced back up to find the tall man smiling at her. He blew her a kiss, and winked. Once again she blushed crimson. The smaller blond slapped his arm.  
  
"Yohji, Stop flirting."  
  
The man named Yohji looked down at the younger man. "Bishu, hush," he whispered.  
  
At that moment the phone decided to ring and the receptionist thanked the gods above for the reprieve. She lifted the handset and listened. "Right away," was her reply as she placed the phone back down.  
  
"He will see you now." She motioned with her hand to the large doors behind her.  
  
Aya was the first to stand, with the others following close behind. The receptionist stood and walked to the door, opening it and stepping through to allow them entrance to the conference room. Inside a man and a woman dressed also in suits stood and watched as they entered the room. Once inside, the receptionist exited and closed the door behind her, leaving the six people alone.  
  
"Good to see you again, gentlemen, please sit down." He motioned to the chairs, watching as they sat. Then he turned to the woman standing with him.  
  
"This is Ms. Maxwell, she is in charge of the marketing effort for Weiss. As you are aware, we will be beginning the ads and press releases shortly." He turned to Ms. Maxwell and introduced the four young men.  
  
"This is Aya Fujimiya."  
  
Aya nodded his hello.  
  
"Omi Tsukiyono."  
  
"Hi," Omi said, waving  
  
"Yohji Kudou."  
  
"Yo."  
  
"And Ken Hidaka."  
  
"Hey," Ken said.  
  
"I'll let Ms. Maxwell fill you in on the ideas they are working on."  
  
The woman named Maxwell stepped forward, and looked at the four on the other side of the table. Across the table sat various stacks of paper and a few boxes.  
  
"First," Maxwell said, "let me say that it is a pleasure to finally meet the Men of Weiss. Second, this movie is going to be big."  
  
Omi found himself smiling. The woman before them was a pompous twit. They were already big, what with the cult following they had from the people who knew what they really were.  
  
Maxwell continued. "We have placed efforts into every avenue of marketing. I have with me several samples of items we intend to distribute." She motioned to the box, opening the flaps and removing a cardboard backing. "I think you will find these interesting."  
  
She slid one each to each member and watched as they picked the cards up and studied the item inside the plastic case.  
  
"Action figures?" Ken asked.  
  
"This is so funny." Omi laughed while studying the plastic "Omi" in front of his eyes. "Look, he's even wearing goggles."  
  
Maxwell interjected, "We tried to stay true to not only the costumes, but also to you guys, which is why we sent you to be scanned."  
  
Yohji had taken his "Yohji" out of the box and had it laying flat in the table. "Well, then, something's wrong."  
  
The five others in the room turned and looked at Yohji.  
  
Yohji continued. "I guess it's not anatomically correct."  
  
Three sighs, one "huh?" and a "Yohji" from Omi broke the momentary silence that had befallen the room, followed by laughter.  
  
Maxwell fought a blush. "Yes, well, though I'm sure some people would like an accurate representation, we are marketing these towards the kids."  
  
Omi looked up. "Is that such a good idea? I mean, we are assassins. Kids really should not look up to us as role models."  
  
Aya spoke quietly to Omi although he looked at no one. "The movie us are assassins, people don't realize that that is what we do for a living." He looked into Omi's eyes holding his gaze. "Don't worry about it."  
  
Omi blinked. "Ah ok."  
  
Maxwell nodded. "Exactly, and for what it is worth, people will not find out the true occupations of the real Weiss boys. As far as anyone is concerned, you are all actors."  
  
"That works," Ken said placing his other self on the table. "Will we have soccer 'Ken'?" He asked, "You know, like street clothes, or flower shop clothes?"  
  
Omi chimed in again, "School clothes."  
  
"Date clothes," Yohji said.  
  
"Pajamas?" Aya said as the room went silent again, and the three other Weiss boys all slowly looked at him. "Well, you have to let them sleep sometime."  
  
Yohji grinned broadly. "I don't wear clothes to sleep," he announced.  
  
"T M I!!" Omi yelled laughing. "W T M I."  
  
Ken laughed so hard, he started to cough.  
  
"Anyway," Maxwell said bringing the room back to the meeting at hand.  
  
"We will have the usual avenues of movie marketing. Books, magazines, notebooks, school supplies, clothes, house ware's, etc." She walked over to the large in-wall TV.  
  
"Are you ready to see the first preview."  
  
"It's done?" Ken asked.  
  
"Yep, and it will start to run in the theatres shortly." She picked up the remote.  
  
"Ready?" she said as she hit play.  
  
The lights in the room dimmed as the TV flashed to life. First up a still frame that read:  
  
Weiss Kreuz Preview 1  
Running time: 2:30  
Rating: PG-13  
Counterstrike Studios, Inc  
  
Omi found himself grinning in anticipation. The screen went dark and a low almost humming music began.  
  
An announcer's voice boomed over the speakers.  
  
"When criminals can't be stopped," was spoken over a wide screen shot of Aya's eyes, red hair hanging on the sides.  
  
"When the law cannot keep control," followed by a wide shot of Omi's eyes.  
  
"Are my eyes really that big?" Omi asked  
  
"When you have no one else to turn to," shot of Ken's eyes, with the bottom of his goggles showing.  
  
"Hah, look at me," Ken said.  
  
"Your only hope is." Yohji's eyes with the top of his glasses showing.  
  
"Weiss, you have a mission." Persia's voice speaking the line.  
  
At this point, the music changed to a fast moving drum pounding piece, the images flashing past fast. Then it suddenly stopped on an image of Ken and Omi in full costumed glory.  
  
"We get in, do the job, get out," Omi spoke.  
  
"How hard can it be?" Ken replied, as the footage skipped into high gear once again, stopping on a grand building explosion. This time Yohji's chiseled features took up the screen.  
  
"Ya know," Yohji said patting dirt from his hair. "Just once I would like to end a mission, the same way I begin it."  
  
The camera panes right to a blood and dirt covered Aya. He looks at Yohji.  
  
"Clean?"  
  
"Clean."  
  
Yohji burst out laughing.  
  
The announcer voice was back as footage ran.  
  
"Four men..Four lives intertwined..The battle between good and evil...Black and White...Family and Friends.all comes down to teamwork..trust..and the ability to kick ass with unconventional weapons."  
  
A strong surge of music followed by a mosaic picture forming to take over the screen, becoming the four of them in profile holding their weapons in a still shot.  
  
"Weiss Kreuz." The screen then was replaced by the logo with the large Weiss and the smaller Kreuz above it. The screen then rolled to two credit screens, and "Coming Soon" before fading to black and the lights coming up to show four young men with gapping mouths.  
  
Omi recovered first. "Cool!" he said almost laughing.  
  
"You had to use the blood stained shot?" Aya gripped.  
  
"Ah," Yohji said. "You know you liked it."  
  
"I want to see it again!" Ken replied to the room, almost standing on his chair.  
  
Maxwell ejected the tape and slid it across the table to Ken's waiting hands. "It's yours, keep it," she said as Ken smiled.  
  
"Well, that's the first stage. We will meet again with you as the planning continues. Any questions?"  
  
Heads shook in response.  
  
"Very well." She turned to the other man. "We're done."  
  
"Great. Well, guys you're free to go. Have a great day."  
  
They stood up and collected the items in front of them. Maxwell watched as they left, her eyes momentarily coming to rest on the curve of Aya's backside. The four disappeared from view and she went back to her work.  
  
*  
  
The car rolled onto the entrance ramp, as Aya pressed the accelerator pedal down. The afternoon light beginning to turn to twilight, as headlights flashed to life. The talk was light, as Aya eased the car into the lane and sped up to keep with the flow of traffic. Inside the car, seated in the right front seat, Omi leafed through the stack of papers they had been given. Yohji leaned over his shoulder to watch as the pages turned.  
  
"They have certainly done their homework on this."  
  
Yohji nodded. "Yes, they have."  
  
Yohji leaned back on the seat next to Ken, and exhaled. He suddenly realized that he was tired. He closed his eyes in the hopes of catching a few Z's on the way home. His momentary rest was interrupted by the sound of Omi's voice, then the car quickly pulling to the right and coming to a stop.  
  
"Would you look at that?" Omi muttered, unhooking the seatbelt and opening the door.  
  
One by one the four exited the vehicle from the passenger side and all eyes followed the small-outstretched finger attached to Omi's hand.  
  
"Holy.." Yohji began.  
  
"Shit." Ken finished.  
  
"That's Aya.. isn't it?" Yohji asked.  
  
"It sure is," Aya replied in awe of his oversized eyes staring down onto the mobbed highway.  
  
"Maxwell didn't say anything about billboards, did she?"  
  
Omi was flipping through the pages again. "No, nothing about billboards."  
  
Ken shrugged. "It looks like it's not finished yet. They only have two words listed, "The Men." "  
  
Aya looked at them. "Let's go."  
  
He proceeded to climb back into the car. The others followed. Once again the car set off down the shoulder and merged back into traffic. Silence befell the group as the car continued the trip home.  
  
"Goodness," Ken spoke.  
  
"Omi, that's you," he said pressing his face to the window.  
  
"Face off the glass," Aya scolded but then noticed Omi's eyes staring down at them.  
  
This time the billboard read, "Of Weiss."  
  
Omi's eyes were wide enough to match the billboard as they went by.  
  
"Are they really that big? Omi asked again, although like before, he knew he would not get an answer.  
  
Yohji smiled to Ken who was still looking out the window. 'So Ken, who will be next, you or me?"  
  
Ken turned from the window to look at Yohji. "Guess we will find out shortly."  
  
The words had not left Ken's mouth when Aya said.  
  
"Yohji."  
  
"Huh?" Yohji said.  
  
"You're next."  
  
Yohji almost pushed Ken out of the car trying to catch a glimpse of his eyes as they drove by. His large eyes framed by the blond hair and the top rims of his trademark glasses bore down on them as they passed by.  
  
The caption under Yohji stated, "Are Watching."  
  
Ken was getting antsy. "Where's my board," he asked before noticing his portrait. Them he sat in his seat and exhaled a "Wow." Ken's eyes were framed by his hair, and the bottom of his goggles were visible.  
  
Once again the caption spoke for the picture. "Your Moves.'  
  
"Well, that is an interesting form of advertising."  
  
Omi smiled and pointed again. "It's not over," he said.  
  
The other looked over to see a fifth board, with a picture of the four of them crouched over a rooftop, illuminated by the lights below.  
  
This caption simply said. "Weiss Kreuz: Thanksgiving"  
  
"Oh boy," Ken griped. "Next thing you know we will become collectors' items."  
  
"That's ok," Omi said. "I'm more worried about how I am going to live this one down at school."  
  
Yohji smiled. "I can loan you my other set of glasses."  
  
The four laughed together and headed off the highway at their exit.  
  
*  
  
Thanksgiving:  
  
"Well, I must say," the voice from the TV continued. "I am quite impressed with this Weiss Kreuz movie. Four young men, florists by day, assassins by night seemed like a strange idea when I first heard of it, but I liked it. I give it 3 kittens up."  
  
"I do as well," the partnering voice spoke. "The story line is solid, smooth and keeps you interested through the two hours. I did not realize how fast it went until the credits rolled. I also give 3 kittens. Let's see a clip."  
  
The screen changed to a clip as Aya turned in his seat and looked at the people behind him.  
  
"There you have it, our big opening."  
  
"How was the premier?" Manx asked.  
  
"Noisy," Omi answered for all of them. "It was exciting, scary, fun, and creepy."  
  
Ken walked up behind Omi and placed a hand on his shoulder. "At least Yohji had a good time."  
  
Manx looked perplexed. "Huh?"  
  
Yohji turned from his seat on the sofa. "I got about 25 phone numbers." He flashed a victory sign.  
  
Aya laughed at Yohji. "Half of them were men, Yohji."  
  
Yohji looked crestfallen. "Crap, I don't know which ones which." He threw his hands up in the air. "I'll just have to throw them all away."  
  
At that moment the door chime rang, Aya stood up to go and see who was there.  
  
"Don't people realize we are closed today."  
  
The others waited in silence as the door opened, words were exchanged, and the door closed and locked.  
  
Aya reappeared with a large paper covered package that was almost the height of Omi.  
  
"What the.?" Ken asked moving to Aya.  
  
Aya was reading a note that had come with the package. He looked up. "It's from Maxwell."  
  
"Open it," Omi said happily.  
  
Ken proceeded to rip the paper, as Aya read the note out loud, revealing a frame.  
  
"Thanks for all your hard work and dedication to making this the best experience I have ever had in this industry. Please stay grounded through your fame and never forget where you came from. With love, Dee."  
  
The paper fell to the floor and a large poster from the movie premier stood before them in its painted glory.  
  
"Wow!" Omi breathed, stepping over to it.  
  
Yohji whistled. "Nice."  
  
*  
  
The following Monday.  
  
The poster had found a home. Leaning against the back wall of the shop surrounded by pots of roses, freesia, balinese, genium, and a flock of adoring girls. Aya stood to one side with Omi next to him.  
  
"I don't think we should have opened today."  
  
"Why, Aya-kun?" Omi asked.  
  
"Well, I don't think we will sell anything today, kid."  
  
Omi smiled. "Maybe, but think of the free advertising."  
  
Owari.  
  
Don't Plagiarize  
  
Don't make me Tsukiyono on your ass. 


End file.
